I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
