there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
