all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
