who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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