I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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