My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
