I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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