Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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