ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
