Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Alive.
So much puke
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
