Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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