I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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