i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
