I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
