i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
