Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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