Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My pussy is not your playground.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
