Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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