so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
