He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
