I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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