Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
