i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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