is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
