Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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