im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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