So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize