Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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