So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
