i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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