Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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