I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
