Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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