hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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