it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
