Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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