I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
