hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
