You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Your dad touched me again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
