WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
