i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
