It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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