You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
