would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
