Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
