Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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