It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
