he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
