I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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