And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
