are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
