I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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