Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
