I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
