Non-Jews are for practice
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
