FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
