Whod you bang
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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