ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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