hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
