You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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