Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
