Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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