tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
