The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
