Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
