she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
